Saturday, December 29, 2007

The year of the dog

They're every fucking where!
First my sister in law gets a pug and then she gets a toy chihuaha. We get a pug for my daughter and then the same sister in law gets the two left from that same litter and gets rid of the toy chihuaha. Today, my sister just went and bought a peekaneese poodle mix. They stopped over with Bruno earlier today, they were here about 10 minutes and now my wife is sneezing away. Damn. Good thing she's not allergic to our pug.

Christmas was awesome, albeit over budget. Jewel and I don't exchange gifts, we just buy something we both want. This year it was a cruise and a 32" flat screen for the bedroom.
That being said, the bulk of my presents are scored from her side of the family as my side mostly does cheap thoughtful couples gifts. Normally, that doesn't bode well for your Good Ol' Uncle Buzz, until this year that is. I got a boss 24V Black and Decker drill, a high quality traveling pool cue and an industrial quality deep fryer. All in all, not bad year.
The cue will be used next time I play pool, if I weren't so lazy, I'd meander downstairs and play a game, but most likely won't. The drill is being charged awaiting the next project and the deep fryer was used for the first time last night.
I fried up some tortillas, sprinkled them with sugar and cinnamon and made some pretty damn tasty cinnamon crisps, just like the ones scored at Taco Bell, but better!
Tomorrow morning, I'll be making donuts for breakfast. I love this fryer, but it may just be the death of me.
Hope all of your Holidays were as ass-kicking as mine.
Feel free to post your "scores" here on the BUZZ.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

No time

I'm busier than shit, but it's been a week since I posted, so here's a joke!!!

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her shiny new bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over, handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation, and said, "Next year, tell Santa to put a
reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year, tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Well shit

What up hombres?
We be back from the Carribean and the weather sucks! Cold, sloppy, and now snowing. ECH! I'm going back.
We finally broke down and bought baby Jewel a puppy pug. Rosie is her name. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a big fat lesbian bitch!
Well, gotta go spray all of my shit with bitter apple so the fucking thing doesnt eat everything!

Friday, December 7, 2007

See Ya!

Well, the BUZZ blog is now officially closed!
Asta, see ya, afterwhile crocodile, syanara suckhole! Well, at least until Tuesday.
We are leaving in mere moments to hopefully jump on a plane and head to Miami, where we'll be jumping on a boat bound for the Bahamas!
Ahhhhh 80 degrees, at least for 4 days. NICE!
I'm gonna have 4 portions of chicken, no skin.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Oh the weather outside.....

Is fucking great!!!
Seems like 4-6 inches of that white shit, and for the first time ever, I'm indoors! Sure, I just got inside from snowblowing, but I have nowhere to be. That 2-stage snowblower I brought home from work sucks, I may have to break out the little Toro that I had for home here. It seemed to take forever and doesn't do as good a job as the little one does. Only problem being, it's in the storage unit under my deck.....in the backyard. Fuck it, I'll live.
So anyway, in years past I was out trying to maneuver myself and 23+ drivers through this shit just to get people's papers to them on time. Papers that would inevitably get pushed into a snow bank from a plow, or chewed up by a snowblower. Not this year. This year I was up early, checking on all of my delivery contractors to make sure THEY were up maneuvering themselves and their people through this shit. I did a quick report and then went out and cleared the driveway. The best part of this new gig, is they give me a laptop and wireless card so I can communicate from anywhere. They also give me a Blackberry so I can see e-mail when enroute somewhere. God forbid I miss an e-mail or not be able to respond for 30 minutes. Anyway, home technically falls under the realm of anywhere, so I will be staying here at least until rush hour is over.
Life is good!

Monday, November 26, 2007

The holidays are in full blast

For starters, Jewel did score the coveted special gift when she went out on Friday morning.
Friday I had to work, so didn't go with her. I bowled for shit and played Mr. Mom all week-end while she worked. It was a completely new experience for me. I'm the one that usually worked weekends, so I din;t have to put up with the little shits.

I went to a party Friday night after bowling at my oldest brother's house to kick off the holiday season. It was a mellow little event....until my side of the family showed up. We all met at the bowling alley and drove there in a caravan. Once we arrived, all hell broke loose. We were loud and rowdy and the conversation soon turned to midgets. Turns out my step-niece was trying in vain to find little people to serve at her wedding, this sent my youngest brother over the edge. He couldn't stop talking about midgets all night. Of course neither could the other 9 of us in the family. I guess I now see why we were quickly pushed into the 4 season room while the "guests" were in the dining room.
I am now actively seeking a midget to come to my sister's house the day before Christmas Eve so they can hand out presents for us. I'm not sure if I'll have any success, but it will be hilarious, regardless the cost!

On the final note, work is progressing well, I'm enjoying time off and the ability to "leave it at the office".

Thursday, November 22, 2007

This must be a week of firsts!

WTF?!?!?!?!
I spent Wednesday night (Thursday morning) outside of a fucking K-Mart looking for the hardest fucking toy there is to find this year.
Jewel and I decided, what the hell, let's give the kids a great Chrsitmas since we may not have funds to do so again for awhile.
****I must be vague here, as the oldest one may very well know this URL and could be one of those lurkers you always hear about. No, I don't mean the type of lurker who turns out to be a faegala, just a lurker trying to figure out what he's getting for Christmas.*****
Ok, now that I've satisfied the legal department with the disclaimer, on with the story. So we decide last night to get one or maybe both of the kids the Mother of all gifts. Only problem is that it is nowhere man.... nowhere man please listen you don't know what you're missing.....(fucking dyslexia) so we decide to pursue it last night to no avail. The dude at Kmart does tell us that it is available on Thanksgiving and they will be open. SWEET! Or so I thought, I figgered we'd walz back in around 7:00 when they opened plunk down our cash in a scarcely populated store and we'd be done. Nope, doesn't work that way my friends. So, Jewel convinces me we need to be at K-Mart at 3:00am to wait outside for the fucking thing, but I convince her we'll awake at 3:00 and get there at 4:00. Ok, cool we arrive there at 4:00 sit outside until 6:00 and the store manager comes up and asks the rather large crowd what we're wating for and then announces they only had 8 of our gifts and everyone else is fucked. Ok, so I'm paraphrasing. Turns out we were #10 and Jewel was right....Motherfucker! I hate when she wins.
So the darling wife is out right now hoping to score for tomorrow, but at least this is a 24 hour Meijer with indoor waiting. I would go with but I have to work tomorrow.
God speed Jewel!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I done went to a Country and Western concert

Well.....sort of.
Garth Brooks did this 9 night engagement in Kansas City, MO. and I was there. Well.....wort of. He also set up this deal with fathomevents where the last concert played live in theatres across the country. It was $10 to get in and it really rocked. Well, not rocked, I guess the term would be shit-kicked. Onviously being on a 50ft screen (or however big they are) with cameras all over, the view kicked ass, better than front row. They showed audience shots and all them there country chicks were hotter than hell! We're talking hotties of all varieties, many of them sitting stage side with these blank stares just looking at Garth like they could eat him. The dude ain't that good looking, hell he looks kind of like me, except he has a cowboy hat, wrangler jeans and millions of dollars. Bastard. I imagined it was me they were gazing upon, and I made mental notations for later use. Jewel doesn't know how much she should be thanking those girls!

Anyway, the show was good. I was afraid that I wouldn't know any songs but he did all old shit and I ended up only not knowing 3 of them. Sure some of them I knew better than others, but it was a great show.

I would definitely do that again!! As a matter of fact it may be the only way I would go to a concert again!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Life in the fast lane........

Fuck, where do I begin? I've been busy as hell and have been ignoring my internet life completely! I imagine that the next three to eight weeks will be just as busy, as I begin a training program at work Monday for my new position, and then just jump right into it. I figure it will be at least 5 weeks before I get shit down to a manageable level. I can't believe I'm actually nervous about a job that's going to net me substantially less green backs tha my previous job. That's the funny thing about being a business owner, you tend to overcharge clients so you you can overpay yourself. No more of that shit, being a cog in the corporate machine. O.K., maybe cog is a strong term, I'll be more like the axle that holds the cog in place, or maybe even one of the nuts affixed to said axle. The beautiful part is that there is time off involved, time off where I hand my laptop and blackberry to a colleague and completely have NO concerns about work. It's not my yob, man! Full weekends off as well. I never had that before, even when I was away, I was there at least partially. I'm sure that may still be the case, at least a little, but I doubt it. I'm adopting a "fuck off when the fucking off is good", type attitude.
I don't mean to just talk about work, but it's all I've been consumed with lately. I guess it's time to start some leisure activites soon, starting with going to bar tonight in costume for Halloween. 7 of us are going as poker playing dogs, should be pretty fun. I'm on call for tomorrow, but being daylight savings, I'm sure I won't need to be there. Dammit, there goes work talk again. I guess you can't teah an old dog new tricks!

Hasta La Vista baby!

Friday, September 21, 2007

The life

Inhale.....exhale wait for it..... ahhhhhhh smell that I just farted!
Okay, maybe that isn't the way to start a new post after slacking off for over a week now. What can I say? Motivation is NOT my strong suit these days. As you all know, Sunday was my last day of actual work. We cleared all the papers out from my dealers on Monday and I spent Tuesday and Wednesday getting final bills! Yesterday, I finally had some fucking off time, as I will today!
I must say it's kind of liberating having nothing to do. I have lots of shit to do araound the house here, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Tomorrow, I have to move the remaining items from the office to the house, but hopefully it won't take too long.

On the job front, I start for "the other paper" on Monday and am pretty certain it will lead to a regular management job for them. So that's good, I guess. It all reeks of effort though.

See ya!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

yeah yeah yeah

It's been awhile me Hombres!

Life is busy busy busy, getting ready for the end of work, back to school, charity rides, bowling, etc.

My last operational day is Sunday. The there's clean-up, final billing and collection of mail-in clients, etc. I'll be pretty much free by next Sunday, and my corp will die by years end. The sense of relief is overwhelming. While I have nothing concrete on the horizon, there are some abstract possibilities. Honestly, I want some BUZZ time, not much just a week or two. I haven't had 7 consecutive days off in 12 years, I think I'm due.

Bowling started and I started out as shitty the first week as I finished off last season. I do have a new ball and was getting used to that, so we'll see.

Did a charity run last Sunday for a kid who was in intensive care for four weeks and parents didn't have insurance. Neighbors and Jewel's co-worker. The kid is fine, the parents are broke. I got to be the dude who gave out cards on the poker run, it was cool. About 55 bikes showed up, which is respectable, not huge, but respectable.

Thank God it wasn't one of my kids!



See that kids? The message today is that no matter how bad it gets, it could be worse! No charge from your buddy Cousin BUZZY!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Jesse Jackson's coming to town

You better not shout, you're racism stands out
you better not fib, or you'll get no ribs.... Jesse Jackson's coming to town.
Ahhhhh gotta love the Jessmeister! His latest stand is for gun control, targeting a Barrington, IL assault rifle manufacturer. Mind you a LEGAL gun manufacturer. That didn't stop Jesse and crew from coming by for a protest yesterday. Turns out the company is directly behind my building. Of course I never knew what they did until yesterday, neither did my neighbors. Now we do, thanks Jesse!
This area was a giant circus and no work got done whatsoever between the hours of 10-2 pm yesterday in the entire industrial park. There must have been 100 cops, well at least 60, and the pro gun nuts, and the gawkers who would rather be doing anything but work and the local people with nothing better to do than to watch Jesse and company storm our town. Let's just say it was a very "dark" day in Barrington yesterday. I had nothing better to do after getting off of work, so I decided to hang out and check out the scene. It's not every day that a self-promoting, opportunity whoring, reverse racist loudmouth comes to town, so I figured why the hell not?
I must say I was mildly disappointed. Fuck it, I was majorly disappointed. First of all, when you schedule a protest for noon, you best get your ass here at noon, not 20 after the hour. Maybe that's why all your marchers had the time and opportunity to march, they can't tell time and therefore can't hold a job. Secondly, there was NO organization. I was standing about 100 yards away and couldn't hear a fucking thing. Sure, I heard a few loud "God Blesses", "Amens" and probably even heard a hallelujah or two. That was it, except for one or two "We Pray"s . Turns out the speakers arrived 10 minutes AFTER Jesse started speaking. NOT good for business, if you ask me. Of course, what do I know? I'm only an unemployed paperboy! I will give them extra credit for the mock coffin and funeral wreath though. However, they lose points for not having any catchy protest jingles. These are a musical and colorful people, I expected some good quality protest chants, but got nothing! Hell I could have written them a few.

Assault rifles, you shan't be sellin', come and have some watermelon. OR
Don't make guns with rapid triggers, just to sell them to some niggers! OR
We are here to make a stand, guns don't mix with Africans! OR
Ah fuck it, you get the jist!

Other than that, I give the whole protest a C- at best.
Note to Jesse, don't target the company that is legally producing arms, target the government that allows the production and that doesn't have supply chain laws in place. I'm sure that this company would be willing to adhere to any law required to stay in business. Unless of course, this was a shakedown and you were hoping to profit from the company to keep you from doing the protest, but of course you would never do anything so low, would you Jess?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

baby baby baby baby baaaaaaaby!

Nothing better then hearing the Zep belting out that vocal....NOTHING!
Well, maybe sex, but that's only if her mouth is full and I can't hear anything, except maybe some gurgling. You ever notice that they use the word baby alot in Rock & Roll? heheheh yeah that's cool!

Saturday morning and hear I am. Received a call from Largeus Asseus (Latin term for fat bastard) that someone hasn't shown up. As I was cruising down to work here, I got another call from Rotundeous Maximus that the dude is on his way. FUCK! I could have slept another 4 hours, easy. So here I am, boring you with the details! All the details and nothing but the details!

Dad got into town last night for 10 days, staying with my sister for a couple, me for a couple then my younger brother for a few. I got to see him last night, albeit unscheduled. We were at a BBQ at the neighbor's and sis calls that her Caddy broke down at work, so being the ultra-cool brother that I am, I went to get her and Bro-in-law. In the meantime my brother showed up with Dad at her office so I took all 4 of them home. The plan was I guess for sis and bro-in-law to head to brother's house and get Dad, but the fucking Cadillac fucked all that up. It worked out well though, as we all went back to the BBQ and ate and drank hardily. I hardly know these people either, as my wife's brother set the whole thing up. It was kind of cool. After that I took the 3 of them home and shot pool til midnight, getting a little tanked in the process. Note to self, don't drink and drive in strange autos, as it takes awhile to get used to them. 'Nuff said.
Baby Jewel is cheerleading her first football game today at 3:00, so that should be fun. Then it's pool party at the house of BUZZ after that for all the family! Should be a riot!

Well, that be enough details for today! Talk at ya on da flip side, bitch!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The times they be a changing

What up bitches?
Life is handing us lemons and we're making lemonade! It's sweet fucking lemonade and I'm gonna put some vodka in it!
Sold the wife's van and got her a sweet payment-less ride! It's actually pretty nice, I should trade her for mine. Speaking of mine, it's too new to do much with, I would lose about $2K on it to get out of it. Fuck it, I'll deal with that later.
I have my first phone interview tomorrow for a job that I didn't even think would give me a second look. It's kind of funny as I've been conservative about what I've been applying for and none of the ones that I could do blindfolded bothered to call me back. Maybe I need to reach for the stars and see what happens.
As time passes, the pain and fear seem to subside. Sure, life will be different as the cash flow minimizes, but the quality may actually improve. Let's face it my hours sucked and I worked many weekends. Now, I may just get 9-5er, Monday through Friday. The potential for weekend drinking is increasing immensely!

For now it's auto pilot til the last day, clean up the warehouse and have a huge Ebay sale the following week or two, skate for a few weeks then it's back to the grindstone! Only bummer is that I can't even celebrate with narcotics because I may have to do a drug screen! ASSHOLES!!!!
Poppy seed hot dog buns anyone?

Monday, August 13, 2007

looking forward

Looks like the end is sooner, rather than later at work. September 16th is the last official delivery day. I'll be basically wrapped up by the 22nd, other than mail in bills to proccess and then financials to deal with through the end of the year!
I'm actually hoping to get a week or two to myself to just relax and take a breath. There is the possibility of a job with the competition, we'll see if that pans out and if I can handle coporate bullshit again. Maybe I can, maybe I can't.

Via Condios Mother Fuckers!

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Careful what you ask for

You may just get it!
Had a great time in the Wisconsin Dells Tuesday and Wednesday, kids all got along great, adults all got along great, it was really an enjoyable trip. We did alot of things invery little time and the two families clicked really well. We're talking about making it an annual trip.
I should have known it couldn't last. I was home about 30 minutes when I got a call to turn on the T.V. and like a fool I did. Apparently, and it's now been confirmed, my biggest client, the Chicago Sun-Times has just signed a historic contract to let the Chicago Tribune distribute all of it's newspapers. Since I was pretty much a Sun-Times contracted delivery agency, I'm out of a job by year's end. Finit, kaput, el doneo, adios assholio, end of the line. I've seen the writing on the wall for quite some time, and nobody in my inner circle of friends and family believed me. I guess I showed them! I've been on an emotional roller coaster ever since, but the outpouring of support has been overwhelming so far, albeit mostly from my wife's side of the family. My brother-in-law even offered to take the train to work daily so we could use his car, should things get that bad. My brother offered to give me cash and his motorcycle in trade for mine, so I would still have a bike to ride. I guess he still wants a riding partner. It's a scary time, as I now realize that we fuck away alot of fucking money....tons. Obviously, that practice will be ending quite abruptly. We should end up all right, although this business is all I've known for 13 years. It's the longest job I've held and now there's no need for my services, even though I'm one of the very best at what I do and I made quite a comfortable living doing it. Who knows? I could end up at the Tribune, though I hope not. I think it may be a good time to reinvent myself. Maybe take some time off and collect a little unemployment, who knows? I think I may drink this weekend!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Sunday all day bitches!

Well, well, well. What's up me hombres?
Never made it to the House of Blues to see that buddy of mine. Fuck him, it was too far. Not to mention getting a room in downtown Chicago, last minute, during Lollapallooza would have been impossible....if not very pricey. Anyway, we did party Saturday night with some other friends and my brother actually came by with his wife and kid. They don't drink, but it was nice to see them. I turned the heat in the pool on at 8:30am and by the time we started swimming at 5ish the water was great! When we went back in at around 8:30, it was like a fucking hot tub, literally. If you were in the water you could see the steam escaping. I could have sworn that the steam was shaped like little $$$$ signs, but maybe I was just drunk. So, then that leads us to today, Sunday. it was a nice day to fuck off. Arose at 8:00am hung out til 10:30 and napped until 1:30. NICE! High Five! It was very pleasant. NOt very productive though.
So this is the final BUZZ Blog installment. Until Thursday or so, when we get back from the biggest tourist trap in the Mid-West, the Wisconsin Dells. We like getting up there every so often, and we're going during the week, so the rates are better. Actually, the room we're staying in is not one of those resorty hotels, just a decent older one that used to be the norm up there. It's costing us $180 a night, but comes with 4 free passes per night to Big Chief(Mount Olympus now, but it will always be Big Chief to me), a $140 value. so in essence, our rooms are costing us $40 a night! NICE! Mt. Olympus is like an everything park, Go-Carts, Indoor/Outdoor water parks, roller coasters and more. We'll be able to spend two days there, easily. We're going with the brother-in-law and his kids. The kids better all get along or I will personally kill all of theirs and ours. They've all fucked up enough of my summer, and that's all I have to say about that. Well, I do have alot more to say, but my P.R. people advise against it. Since my P.R. people hold the pussy, I guess I'll say nothing more, except that we need to get our weekend dynamics back, 'nuff said hopefully!

Via condias, or some shit like that!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

What up?

Ahhhh summer summer summer! Or some shit like that! Actually had a real quiet weekend last weekend and shit's slowing down at work. I've got a rough day today. Got in at about 8:15 will be leaving at about 9:15 to do an hour of road work and that will be a day. Which beats the hell out of my 12 hour days last week, so I guess it all balances out. Perhaps I'll go home and peruse Monster.com, as I'm really wanting a change of scenery. After 13 years of owning my own business, I've really had enough. Couple that in with the fact that there's just no money in it anymore and it's sincerely time to bail out. I'm cool with that, it was a good run.

I'm still not doing my radio show and am not even sure if I'd still fit in or be welcome. Maybe I'll go check in there tonight if I'm bored, maybe not.

This weekend may in fact be a busy one. Some friends coming over Saturday night and possibly going downtown to hook up with a real old friend on Friday night. We'll see if we can work it all out.

Peace out!

Friday, July 27, 2007

TheSimpsons

Went to the Midnight show on Thursday night/Friday morning with Jewel, Buzzcut and my niece and nephew. We all had at least one item of Simpsons clothes on, with the kids of course being all decked out. I had a T-shirt on with shorts and Jewel found some Simpsons scrubs. We had a lava type lamp that we plugged into the van and left on the sunroof and the Simpsons theme blaring out the car through my IPod. We quickly abandoned the theme music and lamp as people were starting to show up to see the show. I expected a bit more enthusiasm, but there was none. We were the ONLY people that even had a Simpson's T-shirt on. There were however, three theatres completely full, well 85% full anyway.
Now on to the show!
It fucking rocked, as I knew it would. I laughed at least 30 times, from chuckles to full out grab your chest looking for air laughter. I don't want to ruin anything for anyone, but it boiled down to basically three kick-ass episodes combined to encompass the hour and a half movie. There was a plot, there were the standard drop-in comedy bits and the under the cuff comments that the Simpsons are famous for. There was also a thinly veiled political message. I may go see it again with Baby Jewel and I'm sure I'll buy it when it comes out on DVD, as I'm sure there were many things that were missed, as there was so much to view.
Anyway, make it a point this weekend to get your asses out there and view this flick!!!

Friday, July 20, 2007

The traveler

The Traveler is a new show on ABC that totally rocks! Jewel watched the first episode and made me watch it with her. She's since abandoned it, but I'm hooked. As it unfolds, it's starting to get good, replete with betrayal, corrupt government officials and asshole parents. It's definitely must see TV, but I doubt it's gonna be around long. Hopefully, I'll get some answers before it gets pulled.

Check it out here! http://abc.go.com/primetime/traveler/index

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I'm bad I'm nationwide

Yo YO Yo
What up my peeps? O.K. enough of that black shizit !
Been an interesting week, for sure. Filled my final open route at work, it's been open for a few months, but I wasn't really in a hurry to fill it as the extra income was nice and it gave fat bastard something to do. It's all right though, as we have lots of vacations scheduled in the next two weeks then the hatchet will swing at least once, maybe twice. Ahhhh the joys of the small business owner.
Yesterday I was bound and determined to get my outdoor speakers in my screen porch working and after some trials and tribulations got the feeds coming from the stereo in the living room tweeked just right. Both lines worked with some temporary speakers that I had set up. It sounded good and all was well. Overnight, a hellacious storm ripped through and we lost power. When we lost power, all that tweeking resorted back to factory settings. So, I went out bought new speakers(that in itself was a journey, went to three stores before I found a pair of decent cheap outdoor speakers),mounted them and .........nothing. FUCK! After swearing for what seemed like an hour and pissing off my wife I finally disconnected it for 5 minutes and voila! all is good again! It doesn't sound as good as I would like, so I'll probably add two more speakers, one on the deck and one in the yard by the ladder ball/baggo area.
Going to see Jimmy Buffet on Saturday. I'm looking forward to a good buzz. Don't expect any set lists or reviews, I'm not a fan.
Anywho.....peace out catch ya on the flipside!

Monday, July 16, 2007

You don't post enough

.....or so I have been told and I admit I was getting lax. Summer be catching up to me. I guess that's just the way it goes. Busier day in and day out which is good. I really seem to be enjoying myself this summer and unfortunately working hard. I have three brutal weeks coming up with having to cover people who are vacationing. Then I think it's time for me to vacation.
I'm going to see Jimmy Buffet this Saturday, replete with a tailgate party and then getting a room 5 minutes from the arena which is an hour and a half from the house. He was also playing at a venue 45 minutes from here next weekend, but I guess this worked out better for everyone's schedule, and as it turns out mine as well. I'm looking forward to it, but not because I'm a huge fan.... I'm not. It is however a good time as a group of like 16 of us are going and tailgaiting. Hell, I may just stay out in the parking lot and party. I was forwarded a set list and don't really seem to know one song on it. Maybe, I'll recognize them as I hear them. It seems that I know alot more songs than I actually know the names of, though I'm gettting better thanks to the display on my Sirius radio.
I will try to post more often!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I've joined the new millenium

OR some shit like that.
The kid did it. He took his graduation monies and purchased a new video Ipod and some cool dvd player that also lets you hook the video Ipod up to it. Pretty cool. That means of course, that I purchased his old Nano and exclusive use of his IPod Boom box for a mere $100 bucks. Actually, it was $140, but apparently I owed him $40. How the fuck could I owe HIM money? Hasn't he lived under my roof for some odd 14 years for free? When do I get that fucking investment back? How the hell do I owe HIM money? Fuck me!
Anyway, so I have this new fangled Nano thing a mabob and I'm downloading Itunes as we speak. The thought of having 4gig of music at my disposal turns me on. Maybe I'll play the Ipod in the bedroom tonight while I'm banging my wife. A little Barry White anyone? Speaking of music, do homos like Marvin Gaye? I mean with the last name and all, it just seems a natural fit. Though I don't see many faegalas hanging out in a grapevine, they may get their white pants and pink shirts dirty. Shit, where was I ..... Ah yes the Ipod. I'm excited by this, actually. Satellite radio is a far better alternative than testicular radio, no doubt. However, I still find myself hearing the same songs all the time. I figure the Ipod will give me some freedom to pop a song on when satellite gets lame. Plus I may not re-up next year. Howard's rarely on and with an Ipod on shuffle I'll get a better selection. So that may be the wave of the future, and why not? I have like 8,000 legitimately bought tunes on my laptop and I don't DJ at AKA any longer, so what the fuck else am I gonna do with them?
Welcome to 2001 BUZZ, can I get you some roller skates and a milkshake?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

JUST FOR THE TASTE OF IT.....















I felt inclined to share this photo with you. A couple years back, it probably wouldn't have been a good idea. Now, I've mellowed and most of my internet enemies seem to have died with a certain message board. That suits me just fine.
Anyway, that was the four of us at the Taste Of Chicago, which was in itself OK. Not great and lots of hassle and cash just to sample a few different cuisines. First was the missed train, literally by 30 seconds, then the hour+ train ride, then the walking 30 minutes to the lake-shore with another couple and 6 kids, 2 of which (mine) were crabbing the whole time, the $80 in tickets and then all that same shit in reverse just to get home. Of course we could have left the kids at home and all went out and had a really good dinner for that kind of scratch and ended back at our place getting drunk. Ah well, next time.
Been getting lots of R&R time on the deck and actually getting my scooter out to ride and generally having a good summer, Albeit a busy one. Which is why my show on AKA is on hiatus and I probably won't pick it back up. The thrill is gone, it just aint fun anymore and who has 2 hours a week to kill? I've been having more fun reading these blogs, links to my favorites are on the side there and they're all good reads.
Hopefully, I'll find the time to write more often and to get the oft promised pics of my finished deck up here to see!

Monday, July 2, 2007

All's well that ends well

Well blow me....down auch gauch gauch gach geck geck. How the hell do you spell that sound that Popeye makes. For that matter where the hell can I see Popeye on TV anymore? Or Woody Woodpecker, or Magilla Gorilla, or any of the good ones. Now it's all powder puff girls and crap like that. There's nothing better than Woody Woodpecker fighting over that arabian chick with the old Buzzard, just to undo the veil and find she's an ugly chick. The key even fell into a hooka and they had to smoke it out, and their eyes got red, now THAT'S quality entertainment.
I'm tired, but I'm sure that too will pass.
The deck is complete and we had a rip-roaring party on Saturday to "break it in". We even kicked the kids outta the pool for an hour for adult swim. Every one seemed to be at their wackiest, except of course for the fag who didn't make it cause "uhhhh I gotta work early and I'm too gay to come up to your place after that". Okay, it's not an exact quote, but that was the gist of it. His loss. I even brought out my 200 watt P.A. speakers and the amp to pipe in some quality hits from Sirius' BUZZsaw. I know they named that channel after me. I started out with a stereo and the music being tuned to Classic Rewind, but as the day and drinks progressed, the shin-dig just required really kick-ass tunes as loud as humanly possible. None of the neighbors called the cops and the girl from behind us sent a message from her Dad to turn it up even louder when Van Halen tunes came on. He wasn't disappointed as BUZZsaw kicks their tunes out at least once every hour or two. Anyone who hasn't gotten Sirius yet, is missing out.
The party was disguised as a graduation party for BUZZcut. The kid raked in the cash, and if you want to send him more, please do so. He's contemplating getting a video I-Pod, and I offered to give him $100 for the one we gave him for Christmas of 05. How the hell did that happen? I already paid for it once, now I gotta buy it back? I fucking love being a Dad. anyway, I wanna do it, but I have tons of music in MP3 format already. Do I have to convert it to Itunes? Or can I only use tunes downloaded from Itunes? Seems like a lot of hassle. When I turn on Sirius, it just goes.
The wife and some friends are going to Taste of Chicano on Thursday, don't know if I wana go or not. Too many fucking people.

Well, that will give you something to read fr awhile!
Have a good 4th!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

National Fuck-Off Day

My buddy Mike and I coined a new to us phrase/activity. The concept is as simple as the name. National Fuck-Off Day. I'm sure you get the gist of it. Basically, it's a day of no labor, no wives and no kids. We made the attempt today after a long day/night of drinking yesterday. It went quite well, as the wives took the kids to the carnival and Mike and I stayed at my place with a cooler full of beer and nobody else in sight. Problem being though, as delicious as the thought was we got bored. Guys don't have the chit-chat ability that the skirts do, unless we're really fucked up. We did do our best to get trashed, we played ladder ball and we watched the neighbor duder rip up his driveway and roll it. Then I kicked Mike's ass in a friendly game of pool. We ended up putting in some solar lights that I bought earlier today up on the deck, then we drank some more. Then the wives and kids came home and Mike heated up leftovers from yesterday's gig. The fool. I watched and laughed, until Buzzcut called looking for a ride home from the carnival. Then I got to drive intoxicated on this holiest of all days. Apparently, all worked out as you are hearing about it, and I'm not typing this from some jail cell while playing the part of Leon's Bitch.

All in all, a good weekend was had by all!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Friday I'm in Love......

Ah yes my friends! Friday is here and while it's been an ass busting day, with more ass-busting coming shortly, there lies hope within the knowledge that the weekend is right there for the taking. The deck is almost completely done, just some minor trim work and what not. This is good as some close friends are having a graduation party there for their daughter. Then next weekend we have a graduation party for my son. These are both welcome events, especially tomorrow's party. Why? Cause I need a fucking break from working and need to sit down, drink, and socialize. But mostly drink. I know, I know, never start a sentence with the word "but". Well fuck Mrs. Anderson from 5th grade, right up the "butt". I do what I want, and you will "Respect My Authority" (tm Eric Cartman).

The fair Jewel's brother and his wife moved in this week about a block away from Casa De Buzz. So far so good, as I wasn't asked to help move anything.

Party On Wayne!!
Party On Garth!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Will it ever end?

The deck is progressing nicely, despite the fact that we fucked off most of yesterday. My brother-in-law, whom is helping me had other obligations and couldn't arrive until 4:00pm. Jewel also had a grocery store run to make and had to leave me alone with her friend and her friend's husband, with a semi-full cooler/fridge. This turned out to be a big mistake, as the three of us had nothing to do but sit in 95 degree temperatures and drink. And drink we did. We did manage however to get the deck complete to the point of only needing the set of steps from deck #1 to deck #2 and the lattice on deck #2. Not too shabby for the size deck that it is (26x20). Saturday, I about died from heat exhaustion from the temperature and the fact that I'm a slacker and am not used to manual labor/physical exertion. I was ordered to eat chips (salt), drink three bottles of water and dip in the pool for 15 minutes. I came out a new man, and worked another 4 hours, ending at 10 pm following an exchange run at Home Depot.

Tried a new beer by MGD called Chill. Good shit Maynard, it's beer, salt and tequila wrapped up in one nice little package!


Pictures will follow!!!

Friday, June 15, 2007

It's been awhile

Fuck!! Where does the time go and who can put a few more hours into every day?
As you can well imagine, I been busy. Haven't really posted since last Friday, well actually due to a power outage the Friday post didn't make it until Monday, but I digress.
Got alot done on the deck last weekend, but not much this week. The plan is to be complete by Sunday night. The architect hopes to be complete by Saturday night, but I doubt that will happen. Ya never know though.
Watch for a Jewel post this week to talk about a project she's been working on and how I helped her fuck it all up. We're still cleaning that mess up.

Work is work, and it's a four letter fucking word! Anytime I have shit planned for the homestead, it never fails that I actually have to bust my ass at work in addition. Seems my services are required more and more over the last two years (Gee I wonder why) and particularly in the last few months. Part of it is driver retention problems, most of it is mis-management by an underling. Y'all know the story and soon, there will be a happy ending to report upon. Not as soon as I hope though.

I need a computer expert. My I.E. browser at the office blows goats....literally. OKay maybe not literally, but it is really pissing me the fuck off. Anytime I google or Yahoo something be it in the browser window or on a site I get the usual links to click upon. If I just put the cursor over those links the address shows up for what the link is supposed to be. However, once I click the link, it redirects to some sort of shopping bullshit page and it could be any page associated with that search request. If I google Donkey fuckers, a link will appear for donkeyfuckers.com. If I click that link, instead of going to donkeyfuckers.com, it goes to Alsdonkeyfeedandmanureretrieval.com.
Like I said very frsutrating.
Keep telling your friends about this place, they'll love my brilliance!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Dads say the damnedest things

Young Buzzcut officially graduated Middle School last night. Amazingly short ceremony and Baby Jewel and I weren't too bored. At one point my brother-in-law and I went out to have a smoke. Apparently, High Schools are now smoke free campuses. Who'd of thought that? Ah well, it gave me something to snicker about. We then went to dinner at our favorite Japanese Steak House, they love us there for some reason. The place is the absolute best of the best when it comes to slanty eyed guys wielding spatulas and knives atop a 400 degree grill right in front of you. Service is always good, chefs are always accomodating, they even let the kids get up and balance eggs on the spatula. Apparently, the newest egg balancing attraction is to make up for the latest attraction to be pulled out of the experience and one of my favorites: The tossing of the shrimp and catching it in your mouth. It's always a challenge for both the chef tossing the shrimp and the diner catching it. At last count I was at about a .630, which aint too shabby. However, thanks to some fuck getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp and then suing, this practice is forever banned from this establishment. Can you imagine that? Suing for getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp! How much fucking damage could it have done, and what kind of scum sucking lawyer would actually take that case without laughing his/her ass off?
And this brings me to the greatest faux pas I've ever made. The conversation got to age and my brother-in-law says how he told his wife when she hits 42, he's trading her in for 2-21 year olds. Always in search of the laugh, I had to top him, but my brain wasn't engaged appearently. I retorted with "or 6 - 7 year olds. The wife wasn't amused, the mother-in-law was speechless, the chef retorted "hey, this is a family restaraunt" and my daughter informed me that she was 7. Fuck, there goes my Dad of the year award!

This was meant to be posted on Friday, but I lost the power at the office and didn't have a chance to retrieve it from blogger until now, Enjoy!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

weird

Just posted a new post that can only be read by clicking on the post # over on the right or the month of the post. It doesn't appear on the home page. Odd!

I can't be bothered

To start this off with a reasonable statement, I am an asshole! I enjoy that fact, in fact I bathe in the glory that is that fact. Apparently, I also like to type the word fact, and that my friends, seems to be a fact. Anywhoo (Is there a more gay word?), I am the laziest guy in the world. I like nothing more than to just chill out after a hard day at work of doing a few menial tasks and perusing the Internet. Sure, there are times that I'm literally killing myself, and others where I have down time to do some slacking off. Over the course of the last five years, I've been losing little pieces of business and while the initial shock is traumatizing, the overall result is the fact that I will end up with less paperwork to do and the lives of my underlings will be that much easier. The end result of their lives being easier, is that my work life should be easier. So sure, the revenue decreases by whatever it does, but life gets simpler. So far, my personal income hasn't been grossly affected, though it has decreased some. None of these losses are due to the fact that I suck at what I do, but rather a regional trend in my specific industry. In fact, there are about 35 small distribution businesses that are similar to mine. We are geographically the largest one out there, and always in the top 5 as far as performance goes. We are also as automated as possible and THE place where representatives go for suggestions and troubleshooting. That being said, it isn't performance related losses, but rather consolidations to save a buck. Service doesn't seem to be a driving factor any longer. There are also lifestyle and technological factors that will drive the need for my business down. The bottom line is that the writing is on the wall, and I should be actively pursuing a career change, but I can't be bothered.

As many of you know, we just installed a pool and am building a deck. At times, this really pisses me off. Why? Because pools need maintenance and frankly, I can't be bothered. Decks need preparation, purchasing and actual building, and again, I can't be bothered. We're going to an amusement park today to celebrate our 15th anniversary, and while I'm excited about one on one time with the wife, I'm dreading part of it. Mostly the walking and standing in line part. Why? Once again, I can't be bothered.

It seems to be a growing trend with me, I frankly just can't seem to be bothered lately and it wasn't always this way. When I was younger, I was hungry. Now I lack enthusiasm for most things that require effort. Is it the fact that back then, I was working to to have some financial freedom and now that we're doing better I don't feel the need to? Yeah probably, but I think there has to be some underlying factor. Or perhaps not, as it seems to be a growing trend. Walk into a convenience store and try to purchase a beverage while Apoo is on the phone. He could greet you, engage in some small talk and make you feel like you are a welcome customer. Instead, he talks on his cell phone, while giving you dirty looks for even being there. I guess he can't be bothered either. The list goes on and on and up the ladder to the highest of high positions. Every where you turn, you hear You have to have this department take care of that not mine. Why? Because they can't fucking be bothered. The line "It's not my job" is a just another way of saying I can't be bothered. That lack of enthusiasm is what drove me out of the corporate sector and into self-employment. Lack of enthusiasm could also be what drove intelligence officials to overlook an August 2001 memo citing a terrorist attack that resulted in 9/11, though that is merely hearsay. My problem is now, I share that lack of enthusiasm with everyone else. Congratulations BUZZ, You're an American!

Monday, June 4, 2007

Ramble On!

Once upon a time lived a great message board, way back when message boards were the in thing. Now, they aren't so much any more, these blog thingies seem to be hip and happening and rightly so. Anyway, the board shut down and a few fragments of boards popped up, one with the blessing of the head admin of the original board and one a complete imposter board, with identical graphics and what-not. The one with the blessing had a bit of a war between the factions and they too split, leaving the original URL with the one without the blessing, and that site turned into a political cartoon board which is now dead. The other board, which I run, is struggling and will die soon. I'm fine with that. The imposter board is a fucking joke. Many of the assholes who helped to ruin the original board now hang there unmoderated. I haven't visited in ages but today I did, and I cringed at what was left. Everyone calling each other gay and/or retards and tired pics that have been circling the net for 10+years. It was truly heartbreaking to see.
The original board was truly kick-ass. People bonded, we fought and won many a war with other boards, we had regular get-togethers, we were a community. It's all dead, everyone gone their separate ways, but for a few sparse individuals who still stay in contact with one another, some of which are reading this very post.
It is today I vow to truly move on. I will not visit the imposter board, I will however, continue to move on staying the course with friends from the past and friends of the future. The board I continue to run will stay through the end of the URL registration, and it to will die. This is the present and the future kids, I guess it's time to embrace it.

The URL's of the three boards aforementioned aren't important and therefore weren't mentioned. No sense in stirring up past ghosts.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Saturday in the Park!

What can one say about the weekend, other than "Hey Bud, Let's Party".
I love Jeff Spiccoli, he is everythig I wanted to be as I was growing up. I did my damnedest to get it done. Sure, I didn't have the long blonde hair, nor did I surf, nor was I pencil thin, but I tried making up for all that in what I smoked. I think I was pretty successful, hence the name "BUZZ". Anyway, the weekend is upon us, and I need some cervezas. I had a few last night, not a ton though. I'm hoping tonight makes up for that, I'm sure it will. I've been drinking MGD for years and NEVER stray, unless absolutely pertinent to my buzz.
You gotta give credit to the dude who invented beer. I don't just mean a casual kudos to Amber Bock von Ale Barley Hops the third or whoever the fuck it was, I mean a full scale fucking celebration. We're talking parades, floats, days off work, National Give Your kid a Kegger day, shit like that. And why not? Beer is the ultimate equalizer and has been getting ugly people laid for years. It's also been the foundation of many a backyard project and the lifeblood of self-moving. Of course it's also the reason for many a fucked up construction project and quite possibly the cause of the leaning tower of Piza. Of course that's merely speculation, it was probably wine.
Anyway, it is YOUR civic duty to crack open a nice tall cold one and pay homage to three green little frogs and those dudes who do the Real American Heroes commercials. I'm counting on YOU, America to do your part!!!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

There aint no cure for the Thursday Night Blues!

Wassup?!
I could say same shit here, and leave it at that, but that would not make very interesting reading, would it? So, just for you, my reading audience, I will search the deepest, darkest corners of my mind and come up with something, anything, that may be of interest. Went back to Pearle Vision yesterday and saw the "good" doctor. She got larger. Still nice as hell, but she informed me that the last brand of contacts that I used were discontinued. Yet, I can still get them through 1-800-contacts. Odd. So she prescribed me a new brand and they are slightly more comfortable than what her protege gave me, but still not quite right. Plus they aren't for sleeping in, so that is a negative. Last thing I wanna do when all liquored up is to stick my fingers in my eyes. Liquored up....heheh.... I LOVE that phrase. So, it's either back to the drawing board, or I'll get some from 1-800-Contacts and buy some eyeglasses through Pearle. Jewel says I should just get the lasik surgery. I should, but what if they fuck it up? My liveliehood (sic) depends upon my sight. That could suck, if I couldn't see. I don't see us living very well on $3,600 a month in SSI disability, though it is 6X a Knabian. Some of you will laugh at that, most of you won't.
The final post holes were dug tonight, and I'm lining up concrete for the weekend. Possibly a contractor with laborers to fill the holes. That would rock, since I am lazy.
I need a good drunk and fuck festival. Any of you hotties wanna get drunk with good ol' Uncle Buzz?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

promised pictures














me and a dingo














BUZZ gets a little help from some friends














Buzzcut in a hole!

A picture says a thousand words

Or so it's been said. With that in mind, I should have uploaded the pictures Jewel took Monday of the post holes being dug. Of course, those are at home on her camera and I'm way too lazy to upload them. I will of course, but these things take time. Look for them later this week. I have to give the wife credit, she loves to document our lives on film, well not really film, more on mega-pixels, but you get the drift. Special occasions, just hanging out, the kids doing cute/goofy shit, crisis and as of Monday, work commencing. Yes, Crisis. This takes me back to the last deck at our last house, some 5 years ago. The contractor dug the post holes and left. Not before telling Jewel to make sure the 2 year old girl didn't fall in them. Bastard never said anything about watching the 9 year old. Buzzcut decided to see if he could fit in one and he did. All the way up to his arms. While I was at the store. The nighbor comes tearing in the house to tell Jewel that the kid's in a hole. Both guys that live next door start digging him out. Jewel helped in her own way, she grabbed the camera. Looking back it's funny as hell. and yes, we still have the pictures.
I guess picture taking is a good thing, I just never really bothered looking at pics of things in the past, though I probably should, especially those pictures. It may enlighten me, or it may frighten me.
The boy officially turned 14 yesterday, and he is starting to resemble a teen-ager. The shit kids get for their birthdays amazes me. He got the X-box that I mentioned earlier, a ton of games and like $110 in gift cards/cash. We took him to Best Buy where he squandered it all on DVDs. Gotta give the kid credit. He knows how to get the bang out of a buck. He went for all cheaper DVDs so he ended up walking out of there with like 3 seasons of the Cosby Show, 2 seasons of The Simpsons and a couple movies. Not a bad haul. I'm just happy he doesn't want me to watch any of that shit with him, except maybe the Simpsons. That I could do, probably. We also took him to Outback for dinner and to pick up his new glasses, which he desperately needed. Can't all be fun and games I guess, even on your birthday.
Back to work, have a hell of a day.

Monday, May 28, 2007

The Dreaded Deck

Nothing like getting roped into a project on a beautiful holiday. Ah yes my friends, yesterday we had a small barbecue for family and some friends that may as welll be family. I of course took a nap after a morning bike ride and sauntered down a fashionable hour late. To my surprise most everyone was already here. I wasn't awake for more than half an hour and the trap was sprung. "We're having a posthole digging party here tomorrow, get it organized". Now I know that sounds good: Lots of people helping get the shit done for the start of the deck. The reality of the situation will be me and maybe one or two other guys busting our asses digging 23, 8" holes 42" deep. So it was said and so it was done. I was literally dragged to the local rental place after nobody believing that at 4:30 in the afternoon the place would be closed. They weren't, the fuckers stayed there til 5:00. Assholes. I would have paid them to leave early, but Noooooooooooooooo.

I purused the section of available augers, two man hand held, one hooked to a trailer, and then the mother of all commercial landscape equipment: The Toro Dingo. Oh yeah, I gotta have that. Sure it's $200 for the day, but it looks to be fully automatic. Check this bad boy out.

It's the second of the two pictures, obviously. I'm hoping it makes mince meat ofthis fucking lawn!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Rainy Holidays

Fucking rain.
That's all I gotta say. Ok maybe not all, but it's a good start. Had plans to have some friends up to chill in the backyard, play some bags, maybe some ladder ball, maybe a dip in the pool. It's fucking 65 degrees and raining. There were other plans as well for earlier in the day including running the gas and electrical lines from the pool to the house so we can commence in afore mentioned deck construction. Instead, I am sitting here pounding out another masterpiece for you to read. And they are masterpieces, ok maybe not all of them. Ok maybe not any of them, but I sense a Home Run coming soon. Ok maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next Tuesday, but there is a fucking gem inside of me that will have you howling like a little school girl. I guess it will be time and circumstances that help coax it out. Maybe I'll take some drunken pictures tonight and post them for your enjoyment. Maybe I won't. Maybe some really hot chick will read this blog for years anonymously and become so enamored that she hunts me down, finds me, captures me and turns me into her sex slave. Maybe not, I'm married and would never let that happen. Unless the wife could watch, now THAT would be something. A scheme between two willing and able women to turn me into nothing but a sex object. Then after the thirty seconds that I would last for, they would turn their attentions to one another and all three of us would be the happy campers. See, that's what most guys wish for: Their wives agreeing to and becoming willing participants in a threesome. Not me, not anymore. It's hard enough for a fat lazy guy like me to keep one girl satisfied, I couldn't imagine havin to bring two of them to the brink of bliss, simultaneously. Plus with all the added stimulation, I probably only would have thirty seconds of stamina. Which would make for one very tired tongue and some very tired fingers. Where was I again? Oh yeah it's fucking raining outside, the wife is at a graduation and we have friends coming over in an hour. Maybe I should get in the shower in case it turns into an orgy.

Friday, May 25, 2007

The XBox

I guess I'm still living in the 80's, maybe the nineties. The boy turns 14 next week and he graduates from Jr.High the following week. Those events are major milestones for a young lad and huge milestones for me. Why? Because it means I haven't fucking strangled him to death yet.
The present for the birthday was an Xbox, no not a 360, just a plain old XBox. He was supposed to get it this upcoming Tuesday, instead he got it last night. Why? His Mother left the links to some games in her favorites (5 games all the same site, why she needed to save the individual pages is beyond me) and he stumbled upon them in her favorites while on her computer since he is grounded forever from his own PC. He asked and we couldn't deny, so we gave it to him early. The thing is fucking amazing. The Simpsons game was kind of lame, but this game we got him called Chase looks promising. He's got a couple more games coming on his actual birthday, so we'll see how those pan out. I have a feeling that I'll probably get more use out of it than he does, he only wanted it because the neighborhood kids all have them. He's not into games and his co-ordination is as bad as mine. Some how I survived. So anyway, it's amazing how far these games have come and amazing how far they haven't come. The last system I had was a Sega Genesis 16 bit some 15 years ago. The graphics are arguably better. But the games still seem pretty pointless for the novice user. It's not until you get way up there that I'm sure the cooler shit will make itself known. This Xbox was refurbished and cost like $165 plus all the games. A steal compared to the new ones that are going for $500. For $500 that game better have a portal for me to shove my dick into and get a virtual blow job. Of course a real blow job would be even better. But this would be kind of like a high tech glory hole. You get a nice hummer while looking at the virtual chick on the screen actually blowing you. Now that I would invest $500 in. Hell, I'd probably pay $75 a disc for new chicks to look at! What would one call that system? A Sex-Box?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

How many people can I suck up to in one post?

Thanks to MotorCity Monk http://motorcitymonk.blogspot.com/ for hooking me up with Pixie. I didn't actually contact her, but went to her site http://pixiestl.blogspot.com/ did a view source code and copied what she did. Worked like a charm and it's a pretty cool blog, so go check it out.



Thanks again to Dr. Ivan http://www.myspace.com/doctorivan for the banner and background image. This place looks pretty cool now!



Check out my radio show tonight at: http://akaradio.com/ from 7-9 CST.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Service Anyone?

What the fuck is going on with the service industry these days?
This evening we took my son and myself to the local Pearle Vision center. We've been here before and have been pleased with the service thus far. This evening was a different doctor than normal and she blew goats! Not only did she blow goats, but the entire staff blew goats as well. Literally, I thought I heard some "baaaaahhhhhing" coming from a back room, but I can't be sure.
We stroll in just on time for our appointment, no big deal, they weren't ready anyway. When we did get to talk to the European bitch behind the counter, it was brought to our attention that she wasn't really 100% sure what our insurance covered, as she thought we were on a PPO not an HMO. Anyway, after 1/2 an hour of phone calls, she called another store and was assured that the coverages were the same. I'll check with my provider in the morning regardless.
First they checked the boy. They had NO tolerance for a precocious 14 year old boy, apparently. From the pre-tester to the optician. NO "bedside" manner whatsoever. My exam was uneventful, until the end when I was told to put my new contacts in. I did and I sat waiting and sat and sat and sat, even though the right eye was really bothering me. Both assistants that I queried asked me if I had them in right or if my hands were washed. I've been wearing contacts for 15 fucking years, I think I know how to put the fucking things in by now! Dumb cunts! Then the doctor asks me the same thing and hands me a new right contact of the exact same brand. Okay, I'l try it. Same shit, exactly the same. She takes me in to check them over, looks in my eye and claims that I scratched it. Probably did, with a contact that wasn;t right to begin with. AAAAAArggggghhhhhhh!
So I'm to not wear a contact until Thursday and then put a new one in. What did she give me to put in? A third identical contact of the one that was fucked up to begin with! I made my follow up with the original Doctor that I've seen there before, and a formal complaint will be filed!

So we're driving home and stop at Portillo's to bring some dinner home. I ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger with a few condiments and the rest ordered whatever. We get home, and I open the burger, it was a regular burger with everything BUT the condiments I asked for. I called the number and was told to come back in, I said I'm 20 minutes away now. She says hold on, I say you know what I don't care about the burger, just tell the manager you all have your fucking heads up your fucking asses!!!! Unfortunately, my boy heard this exchange and his Mother was less than amused. FUCKING Service workers don't give a fuck about nothing these days!
No wonder I can't find good help!

Time for an update

Nothing much to report on. Sooooo busy took until Sunday night at 8:00 CST to watch the previous week's Soprano's. Not bad. Tony is becoming a Monster. Personally, I think they should have waited until the last show aired to announce the end of the series, though we all knew it was coming. But now, we know, or at least we think we know, that something's gotta give and/or end. You almost knew that Chrissy was gonna bite it before the series ended. I haven't seen this past Sunday's yet, so don't fucking ruin it for me.

Time, I've got none. Patience.....even less. My procrasination skills, however, are at an all time high. Bowling being over for the year, and I don't even have the guarrantee of a weekly drunk these days. Kind of depressing, at least to me. Big holiday weekend coming up and minimal plans at best, and even less time to do anything if it were planned. Most likely digging post holes, unless I can find some immigrants to do it for me cheap. Problem with living in the cushy suburbs is that very few illegals hang out outside the local Home Depot looking for work. Must be a city thing.

I love having this blog at my expense I can babble about for paragraphs and paragraphs about nothing and it's almost therapeutic. Fucking thing needs spell check though. I don't misspell often, but I typo alot.

Just got back from a meeting with school about me eldest. Planning the high school years (fuck am I old!). Seems he has made remarkable progress in the past three years and the hope for the future is bright. This makes me smile. 4 more years and he's outta the fucking house! Hopefully off "the payroll" within 8 years, though I doubt it.

Life is good. For now, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. It always seems to drop. I'll probably get fucked over some way, some how at work. Not that work has been a fucking picnic lately, but I'm actively working to improve that situation, as I posted earlier. It MUST be done, no matter how hard it will be to do so, and no matter how many times I've thought better of it, the same outcome always prevails. Fat Bastard must go! And when that happens, an office cleaning and chair throwing out party will commence. In the past 2 years, things have generally become what I vowed my place will never become. Change it be a coming!

Well kids, back to work, check back soon. And tell your friends to check in too, so they can also witness the lunatic that resides here on The BUZZ!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Still trying this thing out.

It's addicting!
I have a cool background image, but can't figure out how to upload it. Kudos to Dr Ivan for the cool fucking header and the cool background that I can't yet use. Anyhow, I should be finishing up work, doing some work on the way home, and then going home to an ailing wife. I'm guessing though that my absence is the best medicine she could ask for. Apparently, I'm kind of needy and the last thing sick people want are needy people. Ah well, maybe I'll pound a few beers later tonight after my mid-day nap. While I'm skimming the pool and setting up the filter, in preparation for backfilling around said pool tomorrow and landscaping in preparation(no not Preparation-H) for the month long deck building project. When all is said and done, we'll have a nice 16x22 ft deck on a 21ft round swimming pool, with the possibility of a hot tub later down the road when $$ permit. What we now have is a big pile of sand in the driveway, two giant ruts down the side of the yard and a large sand/weed patch under where the swingset once stood. Hey don't blame me, I was against getting the temporary blow ring pool that we put in said sand/weed pit. Still have to figure on mulching that area or just reseeding it before moving the swingset back. Ahhhh the trials and tribulations of life in bumblefuck suburbia!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Loyalty?

What is it that keeps us loyal? Is it friendship, genuine like or concern, or the fault of our fucking parents for raising us to have a conscience?
Point in case is a dude who works for me. Brought him in 2 years ago when the last dude bailed after 11 years. I still hold a huge amount of nostalgia for those 11 years. Things weren't perfect, they never are and never will be, but I seem to recall getting alot(I know, I know, it's not a fucking word, so sue me) more help back then. Both have their pros and cons, the latest seeming to have a ton more cons, unbearable body odor and an attitude to boot.
Mistakes be a plenty, at least a few a day. I now know why his business failed but find myself wondering why I felt sorry enough for this sad sack to bring him in and let him help ruin mine. The last one overslept frequently, but bent over backwards to help me get through my day. Ahhh good times.

Could a 3rd one be on the horizon and at what point do I say "20 years of knowing you from this indusrtry be damned, I'm sorry you fucked up your own gig, but you're outta here as well?

Stay tuned the answers may be closer than we think!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Post2

wow I'm getting the hang of this

Well Here I am

I don't often have much to say, but everybody has these damn blogs, so I figgered it was my time to as well.
It was either this or myspace. I may do that as well.
My wife Jewel is downstairs watching some chick flick and here I sit avoiding doing mutliple tasks in my office. Which will help me avoid doing yard work tomorrow night, since I'll have to come back upstairs and do the office work I am avoiding by writing this blog. Everything is full circle, and I love avoiding doing as much as possible.