Dads say the damnedest things

Young Buzzcut officially graduated Middle School last night. Amazingly short ceremony and Baby Jewel and I weren't too bored. At one point my brother-in-law and I went out to have a smoke. Apparently, High Schools are now smoke free campuses. Who'd of thought that? Ah well, it gave me something to snicker about. We then went to dinner at our favorite Japanese Steak House, they love us there for some reason. The place is the absolute best of the best when it comes to slanty eyed guys wielding spatulas and knives atop a 400 degree grill right in front of you. Service is always good, chefs are always accomodating, they even let the kids get up and balance eggs on the spatula. Apparently, the newest egg balancing attraction is to make up for the latest attraction to be pulled out of the experience and one of my favorites: The tossing of the shrimp and catching it in your mouth. It's always a challenge for both the chef tossing the shrimp and the diner catching it. At last count I was at about a .630, which aint too shabby. However, thanks to some fuck getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp and then suing, this practice is forever banned from this establishment. Can you imagine that? Suing for getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp! How much fucking damage could it have done, and what kind of scum sucking lawyer would actually take that case without laughing his/her ass off?
And this brings me to the greatest faux pas I've ever made. The conversation got to age and my brother-in-law says how he told his wife when she hits 42, he's trading her in for 2-21 year olds. Always in search of the laugh, I had to top him, but my brain wasn't engaged appearently. I retorted with "or 6 - 7 year olds. The wife wasn't amused, the mother-in-law was speechless, the chef retorted "hey, this is a family restaraunt" and my daughter informed me that she was 7. Fuck, there goes my Dad of the year award!

This was meant to be posted on Friday, but I lost the power at the office and didn't have a chance to retrieve it from blogger until now, Enjoy!