National Fuck-Off Day

My buddy Mike and I coined a new to us phrase/activity. The concept is as simple as the name. National Fuck-Off Day. I'm sure you get the gist of it. Basically, it's a day of no labor, no wives and no kids. We made the attempt today after a long day/night of drinking yesterday. It went quite well, as the wives took the kids to the carnival and Mike and I stayed at my place with a cooler full of beer and nobody else in sight. Problem being though, as delicious as the thought was we got bored. Guys don't have the chit-chat ability that the skirts do, unless we're really fucked up. We did do our best to get trashed, we played ladder ball and we watched the neighbor duder rip up his driveway and roll it. Then I kicked Mike's ass in a friendly game of pool. We ended up putting in some solar lights that I bought earlier today up on the deck, then we drank some more. Then the wives and kids came home and Mike heated up leftovers from yesterday's gig. The fool. I watched and laughed, until Buzzcut called looking for a ride home from the carnival. Then I got to drive intoxicated on this holiest of all days. Apparently, all worked out as you are hearing about it, and I'm not typing this from some jail cell while playing the part of Leon's Bitch.

All in all, a good weekend was had by all!

Friday I'm in Love......

Ah yes my friends! Friday is here and while it's been an ass busting day, with more ass-busting coming shortly, there lies hope within the knowledge that the weekend is right there for the taking. The deck is almost completely done, just some minor trim work and what not. This is good as some close friends are having a graduation party there for their daughter. Then next weekend we have a graduation party for my son. These are both welcome events, especially tomorrow's party. Why? Cause I need a fucking break from working and need to sit down, drink, and socialize. But mostly drink. I know, I know, never start a sentence with the word "but". Well fuck Mrs. Anderson from 5th grade, right up the "butt". I do what I want, and you will "Respect My Authority" (tm Eric Cartman).

The fair Jewel's brother and his wife moved in this week about a block away from Casa De Buzz. So far so good, as I wasn't asked to help move anything.

Party On Wayne!!
Party On Garth!

Will it ever end?

The deck is progressing nicely, despite the fact that we fucked off most of yesterday. My brother-in-law, whom is helping me had other obligations and couldn't arrive until 4:00pm. Jewel also had a grocery store run to make and had to leave me alone with her friend and her friend's husband, with a semi-full cooler/fridge. This turned out to be a big mistake, as the three of us had nothing to do but sit in 95 degree temperatures and drink. And drink we did. We did manage however to get the deck complete to the point of only needing the set of steps from deck #1 to deck #2 and the lattice on deck #2. Not too shabby for the size deck that it is (26x20). Saturday, I about died from heat exhaustion from the temperature and the fact that I'm a slacker and am not used to manual labor/physical exertion. I was ordered to eat chips (salt), drink three bottles of water and dip in the pool for 15 minutes. I came out a new man, and worked another 4 hours, ending at 10 pm following an exchange run at Home Depot.

Tried a new beer by MGD called Chill. Good shit Maynard, it's beer, salt and tequila wrapped up in one nice little package!


Pictures will follow!!!

It's been awhile

Fuck!! Where does the time go and who can put a few more hours into every day?
As you can well imagine, I been busy. Haven't really posted since last Friday, well actually due to a power outage the Friday post didn't make it until Monday, but I digress.
Got alot done on the deck last weekend, but not much this week. The plan is to be complete by Sunday night. The architect hopes to be complete by Saturday night, but I doubt that will happen. Ya never know though.
Watch for a Jewel post this week to talk about a project she's been working on and how I helped her fuck it all up. We're still cleaning that mess up.

Work is work, and it's a four letter fucking word! Anytime I have shit planned for the homestead, it never fails that I actually have to bust my ass at work in addition. Seems my services are required more and more over the last two years (Gee I wonder why) and particularly in the last few months. Part of it is driver retention problems, most of it is mis-management by an underling. Y'all know the story and soon, there will be a happy ending to report upon. Not as soon as I hope though.

I need a computer expert. My I.E. browser at the office blows goats....literally. OKay maybe not literally, but it is really pissing me the fuck off. Anytime I google or Yahoo something be it in the browser window or on a site I get the usual links to click upon. If I just put the cursor over those links the address shows up for what the link is supposed to be. However, once I click the link, it redirects to some sort of shopping bullshit page and it could be any page associated with that search request. If I google Donkey fuckers, a link will appear for donkeyfuckers.com. If I click that link, instead of going to donkeyfuckers.com, it goes to Alsdonkeyfeedandmanureretrieval.com.
Like I said very frsutrating.
Keep telling your friends about this place, they'll love my brilliance!

Dads say the damnedest things

Young Buzzcut officially graduated Middle School last night. Amazingly short ceremony and Baby Jewel and I weren't too bored. At one point my brother-in-law and I went out to have a smoke. Apparently, High Schools are now smoke free campuses. Who'd of thought that? Ah well, it gave me something to snicker about. We then went to dinner at our favorite Japanese Steak House, they love us there for some reason. The place is the absolute best of the best when it comes to slanty eyed guys wielding spatulas and knives atop a 400 degree grill right in front of you. Service is always good, chefs are always accomodating, they even let the kids get up and balance eggs on the spatula. Apparently, the newest egg balancing attraction is to make up for the latest attraction to be pulled out of the experience and one of my favorites: The tossing of the shrimp and catching it in your mouth. It's always a challenge for both the chef tossing the shrimp and the diner catching it. At last count I was at about a .630, which aint too shabby. However, thanks to some fuck getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp and then suing, this practice is forever banned from this establishment. Can you imagine that? Suing for getting hit in the eye with a piece of shrimp! How much fucking damage could it have done, and what kind of scum sucking lawyer would actually take that case without laughing his/her ass off?
And this brings me to the greatest faux pas I've ever made. The conversation got to age and my brother-in-law says how he told his wife when she hits 42, he's trading her in for 2-21 year olds. Always in search of the laugh, I had to top him, but my brain wasn't engaged appearently. I retorted with "or 6 - 7 year olds. The wife wasn't amused, the mother-in-law was speechless, the chef retorted "hey, this is a family restaraunt" and my daughter informed me that she was 7. Fuck, there goes my Dad of the year award!

This was meant to be posted on Friday, but I lost the power at the office and didn't have a chance to retrieve it from blogger until now, Enjoy!

weird

Just posted a new post that can only be read by clicking on the post # over on the right or the month of the post. It doesn't appear on the home page. Odd!

I can't be bothered

To start this off with a reasonable statement, I am an asshole! I enjoy that fact, in fact I bathe in the glory that is that fact. Apparently, I also like to type the word fact, and that my friends, seems to be a fact. Anywhoo (Is there a more gay word?), I am the laziest guy in the world. I like nothing more than to just chill out after a hard day at work of doing a few menial tasks and perusing the Internet. Sure, there are times that I'm literally killing myself, and others where I have down time to do some slacking off. Over the course of the last five years, I've been losing little pieces of business and while the initial shock is traumatizing, the overall result is the fact that I will end up with less paperwork to do and the lives of my underlings will be that much easier. The end result of their lives being easier, is that my work life should be easier. So sure, the revenue decreases by whatever it does, but life gets simpler. So far, my personal income hasn't been grossly affected, though it has decreased some. None of these losses are due to the fact that I suck at what I do, but rather a regional trend in my specific industry. In fact, there are about 35 small distribution businesses that are similar to mine. We are geographically the largest one out there, and always in the top 5 as far as performance goes. We are also as automated as possible and THE place where representatives go for suggestions and troubleshooting. That being said, it isn't performance related losses, but rather consolidations to save a buck. Service doesn't seem to be a driving factor any longer. There are also lifestyle and technological factors that will drive the need for my business down. The bottom line is that the writing is on the wall, and I should be actively pursuing a career change, but I can't be bothered.

As many of you know, we just installed a pool and am building a deck. At times, this really pisses me off. Why? Because pools need maintenance and frankly, I can't be bothered. Decks need preparation, purchasing and actual building, and again, I can't be bothered. We're going to an amusement park today to celebrate our 15th anniversary, and while I'm excited about one on one time with the wife, I'm dreading part of it. Mostly the walking and standing in line part. Why? Once again, I can't be bothered.

It seems to be a growing trend with me, I frankly just can't seem to be bothered lately and it wasn't always this way. When I was younger, I was hungry. Now I lack enthusiasm for most things that require effort. Is it the fact that back then, I was working to to have some financial freedom and now that we're doing better I don't feel the need to? Yeah probably, but I think there has to be some underlying factor. Or perhaps not, as it seems to be a growing trend. Walk into a convenience store and try to purchase a beverage while Apoo is on the phone. He could greet you, engage in some small talk and make you feel like you are a welcome customer. Instead, he talks on his cell phone, while giving you dirty looks for even being there. I guess he can't be bothered either. The list goes on and on and up the ladder to the highest of high positions. Every where you turn, you hear You have to have this department take care of that not mine. Why? Because they can't fucking be bothered. The line "It's not my job" is a just another way of saying I can't be bothered. That lack of enthusiasm is what drove me out of the corporate sector and into self-employment. Lack of enthusiasm could also be what drove intelligence officials to overlook an August 2001 memo citing a terrorist attack that resulted in 9/11, though that is merely hearsay. My problem is now, I share that lack of enthusiasm with everyone else. Congratulations BUZZ, You're an American!

Ramble On!

Once upon a time lived a great message board, way back when message boards were the in thing. Now, they aren't so much any more, these blog thingies seem to be hip and happening and rightly so. Anyway, the board shut down and a few fragments of boards popped up, one with the blessing of the head admin of the original board and one a complete imposter board, with identical graphics and what-not. The one with the blessing had a bit of a war between the factions and they too split, leaving the original URL with the one without the blessing, and that site turned into a political cartoon board which is now dead. The other board, which I run, is struggling and will die soon. I'm fine with that. The imposter board is a fucking joke. Many of the assholes who helped to ruin the original board now hang there unmoderated. I haven't visited in ages but today I did, and I cringed at what was left. Everyone calling each other gay and/or retards and tired pics that have been circling the net for 10+years. It was truly heartbreaking to see.
The original board was truly kick-ass. People bonded, we fought and won many a war with other boards, we had regular get-togethers, we were a community. It's all dead, everyone gone their separate ways, but for a few sparse individuals who still stay in contact with one another, some of which are reading this very post.
It is today I vow to truly move on. I will not visit the imposter board, I will however, continue to move on staying the course with friends from the past and friends of the future. The board I continue to run will stay through the end of the URL registration, and it to will die. This is the present and the future kids, I guess it's time to embrace it.

The URL's of the three boards aforementioned aren't important and therefore weren't mentioned. No sense in stirring up past ghosts.

Saturday in the Park!

What can one say about the weekend, other than "Hey Bud, Let's Party".
I love Jeff Spiccoli, he is everythig I wanted to be as I was growing up. I did my damnedest to get it done. Sure, I didn't have the long blonde hair, nor did I surf, nor was I pencil thin, but I tried making up for all that in what I smoked. I think I was pretty successful, hence the name "BUZZ". Anyway, the weekend is upon us, and I need some cervezas. I had a few last night, not a ton though. I'm hoping tonight makes up for that, I'm sure it will. I've been drinking MGD for years and NEVER stray, unless absolutely pertinent to my buzz.
You gotta give credit to the dude who invented beer. I don't just mean a casual kudos to Amber Bock von Ale Barley Hops the third or whoever the fuck it was, I mean a full scale fucking celebration. We're talking parades, floats, days off work, National Give Your kid a Kegger day, shit like that. And why not? Beer is the ultimate equalizer and has been getting ugly people laid for years. It's also been the foundation of many a backyard project and the lifeblood of self-moving. Of course it's also the reason for many a fucked up construction project and quite possibly the cause of the leaning tower of Piza. Of course that's merely speculation, it was probably wine.
Anyway, it is YOUR civic duty to crack open a nice tall cold one and pay homage to three green little frogs and those dudes who do the Real American Heroes commercials. I'm counting on YOU, America to do your part!!!